Light

It's that time of year for taking stock of the year that's passed and looking forward to the year to come.

Instead of New Year’s Resolutions, last year I chose One Word to guide me through the year. That word was ‘light’, and I interpreted it in the sense of light that comes from the sun, and a lightness that is not heavy.
In January I was a newlywed, learning a whole different way of life that’s shared and open, all the time. We’d had a month or so off our commitments and were about to dive back into it all. It’s a big change

I’d love to say that my whole year was characterised by light and the sweetness that accompanies it. That wasn’t the case, and I’m sure I’ve shared enough about my challenges online here that you don’t need to hear a lot more! Needless to say, I spent probably six months all but drowning under the pressure of a hectic schedule and responsibilities that were far beyond what I could handle. It was dark, and it was heavy

I had to let go of something, and over the Summer I stepped down from volunteering for a children’s charity that is very close to my heart. Somebody spoke to me over a year ago about my work in that part of the city, that I was to walk lightly on the ground, and I believe part of that was to be able to let go when the time came. Even now I’m gutted not to be a part of it, but I have to trust that others will step up to the plate and build on what I have done.

The light since that time- Wow! In both senses, I have rediscovered the joy of life and can commit to things because I want to without it being an additional burden. All of these crafts that I’ve gotten into are partly because I’ve got the time now, but they also help me to switch off and relax (except when I set myself crazy deadlines...) so that I’m in a better frame of mind for my other activities. I would expect my husband would say he appreciates me not crying on him weekly now, and I’m a much lovelier person too.

So I suppose in a roundabout way, this year has been the journey through a long and winding tunnel to the light. I’m still on my way, learning to set my own limits and prioritise where my energy can go, but there is definitely a lightness to my step that wasn’t there this time last year

Next year’s word will be announced... next year!

Did you have any new year’s resolutions in 2014? How did they go?

One Word for 2014

At the beginning of every year I usually spend some time reflecting on the year gone by, and deciding what I'd like to do in the year to come. Last year my main resolution was, 'get married' which I have quite successfully achieved! Not two months into being married and it is wonderful, best lifestyle choice I've made so far. Pete is my hero and coming home to him every night, waking up with him every morning really is amazing.

Having had such excellent success last year, it seems a shame to taint the record with another long to-do list that I may or may not achieve in the next 363 days. Instead, I'm jumping onto the bandwagon of people who attack each year with just one word.

I like it because it's so much and so little all wrapped up together. I'm discovering lots about myself at the minute(!) but one thing I've caught myself saying more than once over the past two months is, 'it's not about ticking it off the to-do list, it's about the process of getting there!' One word allows that.

My word for this year is LIGHT. It's a bit of a cheat because it's really two words in one, but that's why I've chosen it.

Light is finding the glimmer in the dark place
Light is bringing joy to the hopeless place
Light is not being weighed down by the pressures of life
Light is not being weighed down by my own expectations of myself.

In my mind it's so much more but just now I can't find the words. It's a feeling, an inkling, a hope that I won't feel like I'm drowning much longer.

For it is you who light my lamp;
   the Lord my God lightens my darkness

Let's see how well I get along with documenting it.