Writing about... The Past {Writing Tuesdays}

So here we are. I do so wish I had one more week to start this. The weekend was crazy, last night was full. My husband started his new job today so I'm cooking tea, and pancakes, and I have some soup to make. We haven't unpacked yet, the house is a tip. I want to cycle to work tomorrow and then we're going to a wedding on Thursday night. Yes, it's busy. But hey ho, let's throw our minds back to days gone by. This week's prompt was:

If you could travel back to any time in the past, what date would you choose and why? Would you attempt to influence past events while you were there? Why or why not?

I definitely wouldn't change anything. I'm a big fan of all the little things that happen to pull together life as we know it. Kind of like the Butterfly Effect, or that piece on snowflakes I wrote a little while back. Sure I have regrets, people I've hurt and things I will never do again, but my life would be very different if it weren't for just one of those. In light of that, my 'moment' is one that I could never have imagined would land me where I am now.

It was a bright spring Saturday, and remarkably free of "to-do"s. In fact, it was a day that cried out for a game of tennis. After a lazy-ish morning I sent out a text to the people I thought I wouldn't mind spending the afternoon with. Claire, Beci, Beth, Esther, Pete? I didn't really know Pete but he seemed nice enough and the type who might say yes to some sporting activity. I knew he liked his bike.

The replies came back and there was no tennis to be had. Beci was away, Claire was at a community day down the road, Pete was awaiting a sofa delivery. But I was welcome to pop round for something to do after lunch. I wandered down to the community day and acquired a couple of strawberry plants that were being given away. Safely installed in the front yard, I bussed it across town.

It was a beautiful afternoon as the sun shone in the back garden, and we sat out for a couple of hours just talking about everything and nothing. Later we had a pub dinner with some mutual friends and I showed up my appalling lack of film knowledge. Then I went home, happy that my Saturday had been filled with nice people and good plants.

I'd love to travel back and look down on that day again now, on our first 'accidental date' before there was even a whisper of romance.Just to soak in the moment now I know it's significance. I'd love to hear what we talked about and how we got along, the stories we told each other. But I wouldn't change a thing.

How about you? I'd love to hear when you would travel back to. Is there something you wish you could change?

Post your stories (or a link to them) in the comments and we can have some fun reading.

Next time we'll write about the Present:

It's been said that to be happy, you have to live in the moment. Do you agree with that statement? Why or why not? How well do you think you live in the moment and why do you believe that?

 We'll answer that one on 3rd March!

Unique {We are the Other}

I’m going to step into slightly unknown territory today and talk a little bit about my work. I’m linking up with the SheLoves Magazine Synchroblog on the theme “We are the other”: raising the profile of the people who are marginalised in the world. There are a lot of themes I could have picked up but I think many of them will be more than fairly represented amongst the other blog posts so the “other” people group I’m championing today is those with Learning Disabilities (that’s British terminology; I believe the accepted term stateside is Intellectual Disabilities).

I’m so aware that in writing about a group of people to which I don’t belong, I run the risk of setting them apart as “Others” even in my good intentions. So there will be as many links as possible scattered throughout, and I really encourage you to read them. Start with this lady. She speaks much more eloquently and with more authority than I ever could. Seriously, read it before going any further here. 

“He’s Unique.” I need say no more. (But I will, else there’s not much point in this post)

I listened to this discussion with Jean Vanier yesterday. Jean set up L’Arche, French for ‘The Ark’, when he invited two men with learning disabilities who had been living in an asylum, to come and live with him and share his life. There are now communities in more than 40 countries sharing that same vision of sharing life between people with and without learning disabilities.

One of the key things he talks about in the interview is the difference between admiring people and loving them. Admiring people sets them on a pedestal (He’s so brave); loving people stands alongside them. It allows them to get under your skin. One of the most empowering acts we can give to any person we normally keep behind the “Other” barrier is to let them drive you mad, make you angry.

I work in a school and residential setting for children and adults with profound and multiple learning disabilities. Many of those people also have very complex health needs. They need a lot of help with a lot of aspects of life; but they are always to be the ones in control. Sometimes that’s really inconvenient if I need to look in a person’s bag for their equipment and they say ‘no’, or I’ve asked for advice about what I should buy from the tuck shop and they recommend my least favourite item. But that in a small way is redressing the power balance that this world thrives on.

During the Summer I went to meet the leader of the L’Arche community in Manchester. I had gone because I wanted to find ways of making Christianity more accessible to people with learning disabilities; I wanted them to have the same opportunities to meet God as the rest of us. My vision was for special meetings, designed with various needs in mind, to welcome those with all kinds of additional needs.

But Kevin’s vision was something completely different. His vision is to see that people with learning disabilities are seen as no different from those without. His team’s proudest venture is the disco night they run once a month for local families, where people of all walks and ages come and some of them have learning disabilities. Nobody comes out of pity, they come because they have a good time, every one of them.

~*~

I don’t quite know how to finish today. This is something of a journey that I am still on; this is a people group that is such fun to work with and yet opens up such deep questions about the meaning and value of life. Perhaps I’ll end with this:

L'Arche is based on body and on suffering bodies. And so they are seen as useless, and so we welcome those who apparently are useless. And it's a suffering body which brings us together. And it's attention to the body. You see, when somebody comes to our community and is quite severely handicapped, what is important is to see that the body is well. Bathing, helping people dress, to eat. It's to communicate to them through the body. And then, as the body can become comfortable, then the spirit can rise up. There's a recognition. There's a contact. There's a relationship. 

We see this with some of our people, like Françoise. Françoise came to our community in 1978, very severely handicap. She couldn't speak, she could walk a bit, she couldn't dress herself, she was incontinent, and she couldn't eat by herself. And today, she is nearly 30 years older. She has become blind and a beautiful person. 

There was somebody who came to our community not too long ago who was, saw Françoise and the reaction was, 'Oh, what is the point of keeping Françoise alive?' And the leader of the little house said, 'But madam, I love her." I mean, it's as if you come in to a home and grandma is in the home and she has Alzheimer's and you say, 'What is — but she's my grandmother.' I mean, so it's based on the body, and then from the body, relationship grows. 

                                                              -Jean Vanier, OnBeing.org

EVERY life is unique. EVERY life has value.

Finding Funds

I don't know if I ever mentioned it on here, but I do have another blog called 'take a talent'. I started it in response to a challenge set by some friends of mine to take an investment of £10, and combine it with my talents to grow that money into more, in support of a charity they were setting up in Zambia. We've gotten off to a bit of a rocky start (business was never my strong point) but I thought I'd point any readers over there. Any advice or offers of help gratefully received!

Newest post here: Re-launch

Simples

Having had a week off work, today I finally took some time out to spend with God and ask Him what He wants me to do with my life. He told me to love Him. Simples.

Transition

Yesterday I moved out of Leeds. It was a sad day, but at the same time it didn't feel particularly real, just like I was going away for the week. It's odd to think that when I come back, things will have changed so much- Leeds as I knew it is gone. It's exciting though as well, knowing that there is so much ahead and that I have good friends that will last a lifetime, whether we live in the same house or on opposite continents.

I decided on Sunday night that I was going to look forward to Nepal after all. I had been dreading it just a little bit- the prospect of living, working, eating, breathing with the same few people that I didn't really know frankly terrified me. But on Sunday night as I was sat with Sarah and Scot and we were talking about our expectations for various trips (Scot's off to Mozambique and Sarah's back to South Africa on Friday) I realised that this is a great opportunity to grow- I might make some more lifetime friends and in the meantime I will learn to become more and more dependant on God's love. I also realised what an amazing group of people I have here- the India crew (including Andy who was at work) will be all over the world but we still have a friendship and a Spirit that unites us.

And partly- why expect the worst when you can expect the best? It's never going to be what I expect anyway, but there is absolutely no point at all in worrying about something that might never happen! Smiles all round :)

Here is a prayer I wrote while I was trying to work out God's love for me. I've linked it because it doesn't really need shouting from the rooftops, but if it can help just one person, just a little bit, then I'm willing to be transparent in my own struggles. I'm so glad that God's love is so strong and his grace is so vast that there is nothing that can separate us from Him any more.

Family

So M:Powered 2009 has been and gone.

What an adventure it was.

I think I probably sat down for about 10 minutes per day (comedy moment in my room when I spent some time deciding whether the bedframe or matress on the floor would be most comfortable then noticed the sofa...nice), but I had possibly the best week so far this year! Definitely the best M:Powered so far this life (but then I am liable to be biased)

There were moments when I think we really did see heaven on earth. Times in meetings where everyone was doing their own thing but all were worshipping God corporately- singing, rapping, dancing, drawing, playing football- chaos but beautiful. There were moments when we tried to end a meeting but we couldn't stop the young people from praising God, so they carried on outside.

I also discovered that my family was bigger and wider and greater than I ever realised. Jen, Chris and Sarah were stars in the areas they served that we were jointly responsible for, but everybody mucked in. I knew that if I ever needed help anything, I only had to ask and 3 people would arrive ready to lend a hand, delegates and leaders. What a team!

I had been so stressed beforehand worrying about the food and the cafe, and whether there would be enough, if people would like it, how everything would fit together, but everything came together perfectly. I finished the week exahusted and with only a few days until I'm off to Nepal (this time in 2 weeks...) but I feel like that was the best possible preparation I could have had before I went. Thank you Jesus :)


I got back to Leeds today a little reluctantly after such a great time at home and away, but realised as soon as I arrived that my family was bigger still! Had some great prayer and soaking time with Danny, Tabs and Scot, some great wedding chats with Tabs and an awesome chick-pea curry. Everywhere I go I'm surrounded by amazing people, I don't know why I ever even worry! Life's good.

For His Own Sake!

The other day I was flicking through Isaiah, trying to find the part that talks about what the Messiah will be called. Turns out it's in chapter 9 (and interestingly, names for Father, Son and Spirit are used... but there's one extra... just a thought) but I was way out looking through the back. I got distracted by this verse:

“I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake
and will never think of them again.”
Is 43:25

Now this is the New Living translation, which is a paraphrase, so I thought I should check in a more literal version, because it couldn't really mean that, could it? So I got out my trust NASB and fortunately that page hasn't fallen out of it yet:

"I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake,
And I will not remember your sins. "

And it's the same! God wipes out our sins for His own sake, not ours! It's not a begrudging, 'oh yes, but just this one more time, ok?' He wipes out our sins not because we beg Him but because He wants to.

That gives us value. We are no longer the hangers-on that got in by the skin of our teeth, but we are of such value to God that He chooses blot out our sins because He wants to, because He values us. He loves us so much.

The Lord says, “I was ready to respond, but no one asked for help.
I was ready to be found, but no one was looking for me.
I said, ‘Here I am, here I am!’
to a nation that did not call on my name.
Is 65:1

He's so there for us. Read the rest of Isaiah 43. He absolutely loves us and wants us to spend time with Him and know Him. That's my challenge this week- just to know Jesus, to spend time with the God who is everywhere (Thy omnipresence turns every spot of earth into holy ground - Tozer).

God is good

Ordinary Radicals

I wrote this in my journal on Monday but I quite like it so thought I would share.

Things that I see around me make me realise I need to change. The heavenly man, irresistible revolution and Danny Gough: all have challenged me this weekend.

• The Heavenly Man: is quite literally a living sacrifice. He spent most of his younger life on the run from, or held captive by, the Chinese authorities. Even when he had escaped China and had a legitimate passport, he was arrested in an airport and spent time in the worst prison of all. Yet through everything he kept praising God. He could have kept quiet and got into less trouble without denying Jesus but he chose not to. His heart was so broken for the lost in prison that he spoke out, no matter what the consequences were.
  
  As it stands at the moment, I'm not willing to do that. I wish I could say that I was but I know that if I was given the opportunity to share the gospel at the cost of even one friendship, I would struggle so much.
  
  
• The Irresistible Revolution: So far, this is a lot less extreme and covers a slightly different issue I guess, but it still requires\the complete surrender of a life. It's the issue of 'sell everything you have and give it to the poor.' How does that work out? How do you bridge the gap between the world's richest and the world's poorest? I want to decrease my 'ecological footprint' - how dare I take up so much earth that other people get none? To me life is precious, but to so many others it has become so cheap. Not from a lack of compassion but out of necessity, a survival mechanism.
  
  And yet here I am, in my nice semi-detached house with all my books and instruments and technology. I have a double bed to myself whilst whole families share a single, if they have a mattress at all. How do I respond?
  
  
• Danny Gough: The real-life man in my house! My challenge is this: while I have complained about my all-Christian surroundings and tried to get out 'into the world' as often as I can, Danny has avoided worldly settings as far as possible yet his actions resulted in someone being saved yesterday! How's that for a challenge?! He was just desperate to share the Good News so he went to the bus stop to find some non-Christians, gave them some cups of tea and shared God's love. Now there's one more in the Kingdom of God and a few others on their way.
  
  May I never disregard a prompting to share the gospel with or pray for a stranger. I have nothing to lose in this country, but they have everything to gain.

A lot of people are doing a lot of amazing things, and I'm aware that I have used the busyness of my course this year as an excuse to live in my own little world and not reach out of it. But oh, how He loves me! Oh, how He loves my neighbours! My course mates! The homeless guy who sits outside the SU!

I am rich, I am rich in love. And I have been blessed with love so that when I see a need for love I can meet it. I have been blessed with grace so that when I see a need for grace, I can meet it. I have been blessed with forgiveness, I have been blessed with salvation.

Daddy, teach me to be an ordinary radical.

How He Loves Us

You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139:5-10

Jesus has been chasing me around with His love recently. Everywhere I go, He is there. I can't escape! Even when I just want to fade into the background and observe, He drags me into the spotlight and pours out His love and compassion and concern for me.

The second half of 2008 was a tough period. It felt as though God just halved my capacity. I was busy busy busy as usual with commitments all over the place and then bam- I couldn't do it any more. I couldn't deal with the commitments, the responsibilities, the time pressures. It should have lead me to lean more and more on God but I'm afraid I am fallen and didn't do that very often.

As is so often the human nature, I would reach rock bottom before I cried out to God. But every time I did, He would be quick to respond, showing me His love that is strong. I would feel a bit better. A few weeks later we'd repeat all over again. It was a frustrating and nobody seemed to be getting anywhere.

Then, 'How He Loves Us' came along. It's just one of a lot of songs at the moment that seems focus on us, and God's love towards us. It made me a little uneasy when I felt that worship should really be focussed on God, who He is, His great, awesome, inconceivable power (This is a great one).

But- God loves me. God is love. I can only love Him because He loved me first. All good things come from Him (where is that verse?), and love is good.

I went to a meeting before christmas where a guy was prophesying over a lot of people. Everybody who wanted it received prayer at the end but God called me up and separated me out half way through. He loves me. A few weeks ago someone had a word for a person who was struggling with their studies. I was struggling, but didn't claim the word 'in case someone else needed it more'. He told the guy who I was and made sure I took it. He loves me. Praying with some friends about being set free- it a word for many in the group but He named me. He loves me. Last week I was feeling lonely and I 'coincidentally' bumped into three different friends I haven't seen in months. He loves me. Did I ever tell you about the washing machine I prayed for in October? It had died, but when no-one was looking I prayed for it. Nobody knew except me. He fixed it! He loves me. I was in Liverpool for the first Sunday in months last week and guess what the topic was? God's love! He loves me. He doesn't have favourites, so you know what that means...He loves you too!

No matter how much I try to pretend, the love of God persues me until I can not deny it. It won't stop until I have learned that lesson; even then it won't stop because His love for me will never change!

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-38

Now that's something worth singing about!

(This is my favourite video because the skating is so pretty)

I've barely scratched the surface of God's love in the Bible, maybe that can fill another post. It's late, and I have a dissertation to write in the morning. Goodnight. God loves you!