Tuesday, 24 February 2009

How He Loves Us

You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139:5-10

Jesus has been chasing me around with His love recently. Everywhere I go, He is there. I can't escape! Even when I just want to fade into the background and observe, He drags me into the spotlight and pours out His love and compassion and concern for me.

The second half of 2008 was a tough period. It felt as though God just halved my capacity. I was busy busy busy as usual with commitments all over the place and then bam- I couldn't do it any more. I couldn't deal with the commitments, the responsibilities, the time pressures. It should have lead me to lean more and more on God but I'm afraid I am fallen and didn't do that very often.

As is so often the human nature, I would reach rock bottom before I cried out to God. But every time I did, He would be quick to respond, showing me His love that is strong. I would feel a bit better. A few weeks later we'd repeat all over again. It was a frustrating and nobody seemed to be getting anywhere.

Then, 'How He Loves Us' came along. It's just one of a lot of songs at the moment that seems focus on us, and God's love towards us. It made me a little uneasy when I felt that worship should really be focussed on God, who He is, His great, awesome, inconceivable power (This is a great one).

But- God loves me. God is love. I can only love Him because He loved me first. All good things come from Him (where is that verse?), and love is good.

I went to a meeting before christmas where a guy was prophesying over a lot of people. Everybody who wanted it received prayer at the end but God called me up and separated me out half way through. He loves me. A few weeks ago someone had a word for a person who was struggling with their studies. I was struggling, but didn't claim the word 'in case someone else needed it more'. He told the guy who I was and made sure I took it. He loves me. Praying with some friends about being set free- it a word for many in the group but He named me. He loves me. Last week I was feeling lonely and I 'coincidentally' bumped into three different friends I haven't seen in months. He loves me. Did I ever tell you about the washing machine I prayed for in October? It had died, but when no-one was looking I prayed for it. Nobody knew except me. He fixed it! He loves me. I was in Liverpool for the first Sunday in months last week and guess what the topic was? God's love! He loves me. He doesn't have favourites, so you know what that means...He loves you too!

No matter how much I try to pretend, the love of God persues me until I can not deny it. It won't stop until I have learned that lesson; even then it won't stop because His love for me will never change!

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-38

Now that's something worth singing about!

(This is my favourite video because the skating is so pretty)

I've barely scratched the surface of God's love in the Bible, maybe that can fill another post. It's late, and I have a dissertation to write in the morning. Goodnight. God loves you!

Tuesday, 17 February 2009


So, um, hello :)

It turns out I'm writing for an audience, I wasn't expecting this!

I feel I should explain a little bit why I'm so taken aback that people are reading a journal that I've posted on the World-Wide-Web for all to see. In July 2007, I wrote a list of 101 things I wanted to acheive in 1001 days (see this website). One of the things on my list was to start a diary, and keep it at least once a week. So I figured, why not make it a blog? That way I can write in it wherever I am, and you never know, something I write might inspire some stranger who happens across it one day. I've been inspired to change by blogs I've read by accident before.

Thus, 'Finding Flapjack' was born. It's purpose was originally entirely self-indulgent but now it finds itself seeking to serve. If I can offer anything to help you, I hope it was worth wading through the rest.

There's lots on my mind that will hopefully develop into a number of posts over the next couple of weeks. So after this short disclaimer, I'm going to pretend you're not here any more (but feel free to come back!) and in the words of a slightly adjusted proverb:

"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Write like nobody's reading; live like it's heaven on earth."
(--who knew that this came from Mark Twain?!)

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Snow fights in the dark

Snow is falling, all around me...

It started snowing on Sunday. It was snowing a little bit as I came back from work in the afternoon, but by the time we sat down in Le Cafetiere, for our traditional sunday-evening hot chocolate and homous, it was snowing good and proper, blizzarding even! There's nothing better than to sit inside in the warm and look out of the window at snow rushing around and landing, sticking and then stopping, then coming back again ten minutes later. So by the time I got home at about 10, the world was already coated in white! I came inside and informed my housemates who were all very excited at the prospect, we booked a snowfight for the morning and I headed up to bed, exhausted. However, just as I was about to settle down for the night there was a knock at the door. "Time for a snowfight, frit?" How could I resist? I pulled on as much snow-proof gear as I could find and we were off.

To say I'm the youngest in the house, it was like a bunch of 10-year-olds who had never seen snow before! (except quieter, I like to think we are considerate neighbours :P) It was every man (and woman) for himself and we had a whole street worth of untouched snow to play with. Sometimes we made snowballs, but kicking the snow was just as effective and a favourite trick was to catch somebody next to a car and just flick it at them (Andy found a particularly effective technique when he trapped Tabs against her own car and scooped handful after handful into her face! No mercy I tell thee...)

There was a moment when we all just stopped and looked. The snow was still falling, and was yellow under the street lights. What makes snow so magical is that it falls silently and so lightly, and just to stand there and look up into the sky, it's beautiful.

Of course that was only a short pause. The continuing snow kept on replinishing our supplies which was very kind! Around eleven o clock Scot arrived from Derby to move in. Of course that called for an initiation ceremony as has never been seen before, as he was pelted with snowballs and then chased down the road by Andy looking like what can only be described as the abominable snowman!

You would run!

We finally retired about 11:30 for cups of tea and an extended punning session, and I slept better that night than I have done in weeks. When we awoke the next morning, it was as tho the snow had never been touched. Magic!