Wednesday, 23 February 2011

The Wednesday Lull

Tuesdays are messy days. Every Tuesday when I finally drag myself up to my room to fall into bed I see the sight that awaits me and exclaim, "I hate Tuesdays!" You see, Tuesday is speech therapy day. My office, resource room, storage facility, everything, is the little box room in the attic that doubles up as a bedroom for the rest of the week. Everything lives on top of my wardrobe (which has not collapsed under the weight... yet. I live in constant fear that one day it will). On Tuesdays, everything has to come down from the wardrobe to travel to one or other appointment. The printer and laminator have to come out to create some last-minute resources. And several outfits have to be tried on to find something that matches and looks professional. Which makes for a big mess in a small room. Tuesday evening is students night so it's pretty late by the time I finally retire to bed, by which time my only energy is to clear space enough to crawl under the covers and fall straight to sleep, and the problem is put off for another day.

Today I tidied, mostly. I really need to organise, more than tidy, but that will have to wait. An office would be lovely, but I fear that will have to wait even longer. So for now I carry on, and if I'm still here next week maybe I'll take a step closer to sensibility. Maybe.

Monday, 14 February 2011

Making me a mountain

This song is my theme tune at the moment. When everything's on top of me, I remind myself of the outcome- I am becoming a mountain that cannot be shaken. Beautiful song.

It's the sweetest thing
To trust you
Just to know
You got everything under control

It's the sweetest thing
To trust you
Just to know
You got everything

You are making me a mountain,
Making me a mountain that cannot be shaken

You are making me a mountain,
Making me a mountain that cannot be moved

High up on a rock
Looking out at the horizon
Watching as the storm rolls in
Wondering if my heart will survive it

As the waves crash all around me
And can't remember what it feels like to be free

I know You're making me a mountain
Making me a mountain that cannot be shaken

You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain that cannot be moved

You say, I've got you my baby, oh I've got you
It's quite the mess you're in but it's nothing Love can't fix
So sit here upon my shoulders and watch as it all unwinds

You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain that cannot be shaken

I know You're making me a mountain,
Making me a mountain that cannot be moved

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

I've always been a late starter...

I wrote this on my way to Sheffield to bring in the new year with some very good friends of mine. At the time I didn't think it warranted posting but as we begin the second month of this year already, maybe it's worth acknowledging that the old one has passed. Here goes...

So, it's the end of 2010.
I'm not really ready for this year to end I don't think, but it's ending so I guess I better get on with it. I kind of hoped I'd be ready for life by the time 2011 rolled around, but here I am still floating. So what has 2010 held for me?

January: I returned to Leeds to work on the bank, apply for jobs and live in Eden. And that's just what I did- worked lots, lived with Scot and Andy, and tried to catch up with a world that had changed almost beyond recognition when I left it in aug 09.

February: Kidz klub came around. I met this crazy American girl who shared my name. Lots of girls group events where only 'older ones' came. The Eden era ended and I moved to Ben & Hannah's house.

March: How long will I be staying? I made half-hearted attempts to find somewhere to live, but not really. I visited Kidz klub and discovered that it really was as good in real life as it looked on the video. Applied immediately and had my first week on team on matt's 21st birthday. Went on a mission to buy American foods for the occasion.

April: Easter rolled round and still no house, still no job. Decided to stay put til July- the Jones's were wonderful and continued to put up with me. Other than that I don't really remember... maybe started bible studies with Becca K? She fast became a very special friend.

May: Still working, still at Kidz klub. A growing desire to live somewhere that I could continue Kidz klub work as I got to know and love the kids in the neighbourhood more and more. My birthday=anticlimax

June: Jess & Ben got married; that day the Harehills home plan was hatched. I got an email from Pete Larkum about this project called the Challenge in London- thought I may as well apply and got the job with a week or two notice! Maj & Seb got married and moved to London, but before that I stayed with Amy r and went to their party. Oh, also stayed with JC one time- random!

July: The Challenge! Four crazy weeks in London with inner-city gangsta teens learning enterprise skills that no-one wanted. Lots of fun but I never want to live in the capital long-term. Stayed with M&S to finish.

August: Catch up month. Leah got married; M:Powered happened and I spent awesome times with Rach Munn. Worked lots to make up for 5 weeks off. Lived in ore's flat and house-hunted like crazy. Moved to Harehills!

September: by far the most ridiculous month. New housemates, weekends in London (staying with Tim & Chloe, Maj & Seb), working, Kidz klub visits, students, german. Insane.

October: back to Saturday kk with no Becca- sad! But still hectic. I did PMVA training only to find Ruth B on the same 5-day course! Ben came to stay in half term for a birthday treat then I went home. Began to settle back into weekly church attendance after months of weekend youth work.

November: Bonfire night is my favourite of the year! We went to Roundhay then had a party at ours. Space started and I'm fairly sure I broke my toe. First night shift at Parkwood. Started doing SLT for Anne franklin. Started attending intensive interaction cafe. It snowed, lots.

December: More snow, more speech therapy, more work! We gave out hampers and Kidz klub wound up. I caught flu, then stayed at brian's house for a week, all throughout 2 weeks of solid work. Came home for Christmas, dad was ill, matt trapped in Kenosha, but all came good in the end. New year in Sheffield...

Wow, who knew all that could happen in just one year! There's lots more detail that has been left out. I guess maybe I am ready for the new year now. It's been a long one but I have come full circle and I'm back to the focused position I was last year, if a little tireder and hopefully more wise. What am I looking forward to this year?

• More speech therapy, in whatever guise it presents itself.
• Building some more long-term friendships with people outside of an organised setting. Building up a network that is relationship-based.
• Weddings! Lauren, Tilley, Andy, Mike & Amy. How many more?!
• Community.
• Calling home more. Calling people more. One month I'd like to run out of minutes, just because I'm talking to people lots.
• Making time to visit people and receive visitors. Practicing hospitality.
• Loving Jesus more than I think possible at the moment!!