Tuesday, 11 August 2009


Yesterday I moved out of Leeds. It was a sad day, but at the same time it didn't feel particularly real, just like I was going away for the week. It's odd to think that when I come back, things will have changed so much- Leeds as I knew it is gone. It's exciting though as well, knowing that there is so much ahead and that I have good friends that will last a lifetime, whether we live in the same house or on opposite continents.

I decided on Sunday night that I was going to look forward to Nepal after all. I had been dreading it just a little bit- the prospect of living, working, eating, breathing with the same few people that I didn't really know frankly terrified me. But on Sunday night as I was sat with Sarah and Scot and we were talking about our expectations for various trips (Scot's off to Mozambique and Sarah's back to South Africa on Friday) I realised that this is a great opportunity to grow- I might make some more lifetime friends and in the meantime I will learn to become more and more dependant on God's love. I also realised what an amazing group of people I have here- the India crew (including Andy who was at work) will be all over the world but we still have a friendship and a Spirit that unites us.

And partly- why expect the worst when you can expect the best? It's never going to be what I expect anyway, but there is absolutely no point at all in worrying about something that might never happen! Smiles all round :)

Here is a prayer I wrote while I was trying to work out God's love for me. I've linked it because it doesn't really need shouting from the rooftops, but if it can help just one person, just a little bit, then I'm willing to be transparent in my own struggles. I'm so glad that God's love is so strong and his grace is so vast that there is nothing that can separate us from Him any more.

Friday, 7 August 2009


I'm feeling so tired and overwhelmed I just need to tell someone. But everyone here is very busy and excited about the wedding tomorrow. My housemate's getting married, and I'm being a bridesmaid :). It is exciting, but I just don't have the energy! Mum and Dad are coming to pick up a load of stuff because I'm moving out on Monday, so i was supposed to be packing, but I can't face that either.

8 days til I go to Nepal. Terrifying. There's a blog at slt-nepal.blogspot.com that'll be used to keep people updated about what we're doing while we're there, but hopefully I'll be able to keep up with this one for the more personal stuff too. Today as I was packing my stuff up, I couldn't help but wish a little bit that I was staying in the country and applying for a general Band 5 job like everyone else, inside the NHS where I knew what I was doing and where I was coming from. But God's plans are higher than mine and I'm sure this is part of them, I've never taken the 'normal' route so why start now?

God's good. I'm tired. Bedtime :)

Sunday, 2 August 2009


So M:Powered 2009 has been and gone.

What an adventure it was.

I think I probably sat down for about 10 minutes per day (comedy moment in my room when I spent some time deciding whether the bedframe or matress on the floor would be most comfortable then noticed the sofa...nice), but I had possibly the best week so far this year! Definitely the best M:Powered so far this life (but then I am liable to be biased)

There were moments when I think we really did see heaven on earth. Times in meetings where everyone was doing their own thing but all were worshipping God corporately- singing, rapping, dancing, drawing, playing football- chaos but beautiful. There were moments when we tried to end a meeting but we couldn't stop the young people from praising God, so they carried on outside.

I also discovered that my family was bigger and wider and greater than I ever realised. Jen, Chris and Sarah were stars in the areas they served that we were jointly responsible for, but everybody mucked in. I knew that if I ever needed help anything, I only had to ask and 3 people would arrive ready to lend a hand, delegates and leaders. What a team!

I had been so stressed beforehand worrying about the food and the cafe, and whether there would be enough, if people would like it, how everything would fit together, but everything came together perfectly. I finished the week exahusted and with only a few days until I'm off to Nepal (this time in 2 weeks...) but I feel like that was the best possible preparation I could have had before I went. Thank you Jesus :)

I got back to Leeds today a little reluctantly after such a great time at home and away, but realised as soon as I arrived that my family was bigger still! Had some great prayer and soaking time with Danny, Tabs and Scot, some great wedding chats with Tabs and an awesome chick-pea curry. Everywhere I go I'm surrounded by amazing people, I don't know why I ever even worry! Life's good.