A Week of Creativity

Well, who knew quite what I was letting myself into with the #30for30crafting challenge this month! Week One was in the build-up to Pete's birthday so I couldn't share many of my projects as I went (couldn't ruin the surprise!) so here's a quick summary:

Day 1 was to finish off a point on my spikey spikey crochet (see previous photo). Crochet doesn't quite agree with me and this project is becoming a bit of a drag to finish, but I will get there, eventually.

Day 2 was the day that I discovered the challenge, and the oh-so-inspiring blog of The Crafting Geek. A recent post gave a cute little pattern for an old NES controller. Pete quite likes retro games so I thought this would be a lovely 'little project' to get me started, and I could make it into a birthday card for him. I popped into town for some bits including the black thread I would need, so was quite restricted to just 30 minutes to get started before the Mr got home from work. I nearly completed the box outline. You can see where this is going...

Day 3 and it turned out we had slightly different definitions of a 'little project'! It was the day before Pete's birthday so I had little choice but to spend most of the day sitting and stitching, painfully slowly filling in the colours. A lot of hours (including some overnight after he'd fallen asleep...) this emerged:

Quite pleased overall, despite the lack of sleep! The squareness of the design also gives a very satisfying back:


I downloaded a 'NES' font and printed the 'Happy Birthday' as a template, then used the schoolgirl technique of colouring underneath with a pencil to make my own template. I originally planned to go over this in red but liked the effect of the pencil so left it be.


Day 4: I was shattered after the previous day's stitching exertions, but it was the birthday boy's day and there was baking to be done! I had let slip that I wanted to bake a cake, and pecan pie had been requested. There's a bit of a back-story with that and it's become a traditional Christmas gift(!) but I'm a big softie so it was to be made again. We had a barbeque planned for Friday evening so a more sociable cake would be required for that. So cue another day full of creating, first a very exciting blueberry ring cake, then lots of little pecan pies:

Day 5: You can guess what today required, cake decoration! Here is the finished product, and I am very pleased with it. The greatest praise was that those who tasted it on Friday night came back for seconds.

Day 6 I spent with a group of friends re-painting the set for a children's club I am involved with during term times. I believe some photos were taken, but not by me. It's a bit of a tenuous link to 'craft' as there was very little creative involvement beyond white- and blue-washing some big boards, but it's all preparation for this Saturday which will see the creativity re-injected!

...And since then I've returned to my crocheting. It's painstaking and slow and I have to re-start every point 3 times before I really get going but hopefully I'll have something to show for it by the end of the month. Today is my Day 12 so there is still plenty of time for me!

Now for something completely different...

It's been quite intense over here lately, but as the summer holidays wear on there is very little intense going on in these parts. There should maybe be a bit more intensive house-cleaning... but never mind. I've discovered the world of craft blogs, and it is maybe even more dangerous than community link-ups!

I'm not sure how well I'll fare all through the year, but have decided to join in a project called #30for30crafting, where you simply do something crafty for 30 minutes a day, for 30 days! The idea is to run through August so I'm a little late starting, but did spend a good hour doing some crochet yesterday so I reckon that puts me on Day 2.

I'm quite an ambitious person, and tend to dive straight into a massive project, rather than starting small. The real challenge is to finish. So I think I'll be taking this opportunity to finish some of the big projects I've started, but also try and limit myself to some smaller ones that can be completed in just a couple of days.

It's fun, creating.

Christmas Day in the Trenches {Authentic}

This month, I've been reading lots of stories from people encouraging me to be authentic. Not to put on a face, not to struggle on through, but to let it all hang out. Some of those stories came from people who have learned that lesson, faced up to their demons and now appear to live in a glorious post-authentic world and the freedom that brings. Others are sending dispatches from right in the trenches, putting their words together between battles.

Me? I think I'm at Christmas Day.

The year was 1914, and British and German soldiers had been living, fighting and dying in close proximity to each other for months. However, on the 25th December an unofficial truce was called, and men from both sides came out onto no-mans-land to exchange greetings and have a game of football. A brief respite before the battle raged on.

This is where I am. I've been battling; but now the summer holidays have come and all is quiet. That doesn't mean I don't know that come 26th August the battle will commence again, only I will be a bit more refreshed for the first couple of weeks at least. 

How to answer when people ask how I'm doing? They didn't hear my masked pleas for help in the heat of the battle, when all raged around me and the best answer I could give to that teasing 'how are you?' question was: 'I'm managing.' To say any better would be a bare-faced lie; to go into more detail would risk dissolving into tears, and there's no time for that when the battle's on and there's managing to be done. Now when they ask it's not lying to say 'fine' and that is all they really want to hear.

Some good friends recently discovered that we had been struggling, but it took us until last week to find a time when we all had a simultaneous free evening. Now that it's Christmas and a truce has been called there was less interest in the battle, but we had a lovely evening and were encouraged to let them know whenever we're struggling again. 

How?! When I'm struggling it's because every evening is filled up. We might label one night date night but we spend it crashed in front of a DVD eating takeaway because it's date night so we're allowed to not cook. All the other nights we barter over who will cook, and eating is the only waking activity we do in the house before crashing into bed. We both frequently comment that we have 'finished' at some point during the day, and all the energy was gone. Whilst watching the Tour de France this year we witnessed the same thing happen to some of the cyclists, but they had been riding 100+ miles a day at 30+ mph for a good few days by that time. That's when I thought that maybe we shouldn't be pushing our bodies to the same point of exhaustion quite so frequently. The moments that aren't spent doing are spent crashing. So when am I supposed to go for that coffee to talk it all through? Not until next Christmas, and the battle's paused again by then. 

I have been deliberately vague about what 'the battle' is. I'm trying hard to be authentic, but also honouring. I am not battling against people or groups; rather there are many circumstances that have combined to make life hard work. Pressures, responsibilities, disappointments.

Maybe I'll tell you over a coffee this holiday if you really want to know. 


I'm linking up with sheloves magazine this month, read more from other writers here.

Power in the name

Today I'm joining in with another #SheReadsTruth link-up, about where we take our name from. I've got lots of blog-gy ideas in my head at the moment but never getting time to commit them to paper (or screen!) I have been enjoying reading through Ruth though, and this study has given me plenty of food for thought. Have a look at other people's take on the story here.

I've written before about my own name here. It led me on a path of discovery about who I was and the words that have been spoken over me my whole life, just when people called me by my name.

 

Today I'm going to write instead about the names we dole out to places and communities. I'm a real believer in the power of our spoken word, that what we say can become prophetic into the spiritual realm as well as on an earthly level around us.

 

There is a prophecy in Isaiah:

For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not be quiet, until her righteousness goes forth as brightness, and her salvation as a burning torch. The nations shall see your righteousness, and all the kings your glory, and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give. You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her, and your land Married; for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married. (Isaiah 62:1-4 ESV)

We used to pray that over my home city of Liverpool. For anyone who doesn't know, Liverpool has somewhat of a dodgy reputation in the UK. Sure we had the Beatles and some good footballers, but we've also had riots, the streets are a bit messy and unemployment has historically been rife. I remember once going to a festival with some workmates from Leeds and camping next to some scousers. They were friendly and immediately I felt more secure in the surroundings. My friends, however, were on edge. 'Make sure you take everything with you, there are scousers in the next tent!' I was shocked and appalled.

 

So we prayed for a new name over our city. We prayed that 'Hope' would be spoken over it, and 
restoration. We asked to be called, 'my delight is in her'.

Do you know, it matters? It matters to people the reputation of where they live. It matters to children the reputation of their high school. What's the point in trying if no-one from your school ever gets anywhere when they leave? A teacher was recently fatally stabbed in a school in Leeds. It is a good school and this was an isolated incident, but as well as the fear the young people (and staff) now face going into school, they are marked by their uniform as 'from the school where that teacher got stabbed.' There's some negative power in hearing that on a regular basis. We have to stand against it.

 

I think we have a responsibility here. We have a responsibility to pray and lift up our neighbourhoods, our communities, our friends and family. But secondly, we have a responsibility to speak new names over those same groups. We can seek the positives and draw them out into the open, we can restore people and places with our words.

“Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? Then... your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in." (Isaiah 58:6, 7, 12 ESV)

The whole chapter is full of hope and new life. Read it. But we are called to be the restorer of streets. We do that with our actions, but also with our words.

What are the positive words that you can speak over the groups and peoples you encounter, that otherwise might only have negative labels?

Commissioned Moments

Today I'm joining up with a community at #SheReadsTruth. We've been challenged to write from the following reflection: 

Why do we live in the tension of worship and doubt that disables us to share the truth of God’s love? 

You and I are commissioned – authorized by God – to “therefore go and make disciples” who will know Him and live for Him. This is a commandment from Jesus.

Lots of other people have also written, have a look at their thoughts here. Here are mine:

Growing up, I learned to worship God in dance. I learned all the theory; what different parts of the body symbolised and how we could move prophetically. I grew up expressing my praise with my whole being.

I grew a bit older and discovered some people found that a bit weird. I learned that my friends and I had been labelled 'the flag girls' and watched more than one less-than-complementary impression of our 'actions'.

Now I'm older still. I've learned that I can praise and worship my God without having to move at all. I can reflect, I can be so full of awe that even to put on that worshipping face is distracting from what is happening on the inside. But sometimes, I just want to dance. I want to use all my limbs, my body, my balance to express my heart. Then I remember about the flag girls and wonder what that person sitting at the back might think.

Last Friday I encountered Jesus in a way I haven't done since I was a child. On Sunday, I burned on the inside with a conviction that I had a God-given dance. Movements rose inside of me that I knew would inspire and lead others. 'Flag girls' shouted from the back of my mind, urging me to cling to dignity. The song rolled on. How could I ask Jesus for a commission if I wouldn't follow such a simple command? How could I take a step of faith at work if I couldn't take a step in front of my family?

Every step to the front felt like lead. Every movement felt shaky. The chorus rose and fell. The verses came around, and that chorus again. My whole life was laid out in that moment, surrendered. All my pride, every promise, everything I knew and didn't know. That was my commissioning moment, a tiny obedience that broke through the lies of the past and fears of the future.

Since then? Life is busy, and normal. There was no bolt from the sky, but a foundation in my heart that I can follow my commission, one step at a time.

Time on the Train Track

Married life has brought lots of changes with it; one of the more pre-meditated changes is that we've become a one-car household. My little Cora was on her last legs for a good few months before the fateful day just before Christmas when she went for her last ever drive to the breaker's yard. She might have had a larger price on her head if there hadn't been a number of football-sized holes corroded through the floor.

My bicycle has never seen so much action! Well, not since it took me from Leeds to London in two days, but that's another story. I'm not quite that fit though, and rather than the full 16-mile ride each way, I head into Leeds, hop on a train and cycle up the hill at the other end to work. It's been enough to wake up these lazy legs but is getting easier by the week, thankfully!

My train journey is approximately 22 minutes. It's lovely to have that protected time at each end of the day where there's nothing I can do but wait to arrive at my destination. One of my highlights in the morning is taking a flask of tea and pretending I'm camping. My iPad comes too and therein lies the challenge. How do I spend those precious moments, when I have a choice? My options are many and varied:

• Reading blogs, News bulletins, other great things inspirational people have posted.
• Listening to an album I haven't heard in a while
• I have a couple of ebooks on there too
• Occasionally I even try and write something interesting!

All the while I'm desperate for time to re-connect with my Maker, the One who inspires me to do all the other stuff that keeps me so busy the rest of the week. But still it's a challenge to not 'do' and just 'be'. The blogs are inspiring; the music is beautiful; and my own writing intends to reflect all that I have learnt and all that I do. I toyed with trying to get this blog much more frequently updated; to be an example of a busy Christian woman and try to connect with others, to find a way through this maze. But then I realised that if I spent all my time writing, I would never have the time for that presence. 

It's a constant tension between doing and being. One is no good without the other; but I'll leave it at that for now. There's another post brewing.

I think my solution is to mix and match. I'd like to write on here more often, just for the love of writing. I'll probably join in a couple of monthly link-ups, and try to scatter some more personal bits in than I have done previously (like, did I mention I got married?!). I'm getting into reading more blogs and discovering that it's okay to just write a little bit about everything. It's okay to just write once a week, or even less. Everything doesn't have to be polished and perfect, but it helps if it's real.

So that's my new goal.

Mixed up and real. 

Jane {Hope}

Jane* is a young lady that I met 3 years ago. That label is perhaps a little grand for her just yet; she is still a child, not yet in high school. My first impressions of Jane were that she was the original Wild Child. She could not stay still, she was always shouting, she had no internal checkpoints to tell her what was appropriate. 

Jane comes from a huge family: 13 siblings and counting. Many of her older brothers and sisters have been through the care system, and I have been involved in supporting one of them as she made the transition back home. Last time I visited the family, I heard that two of her older brothers are currently in prison. 
Jane has caused me some trouble over the past few years. She has disobeyed adults who care about her; she has bullied children who wanted to be her friend. She's been rude to a police officer when he challenged her behaviour in the street. Periodically, her behaviour improves dramatically and she tells me proudly that she has received 'star of the week' in school. Mum comes out and tells me how proud she is of Jane's hard work. But there's always something to upset the balance and send things off course again. Once it was when her little sister was born. Once when the kitchen ceiling fell through, inches away from mum's head. It was months before the council found another house for them to move into. 

On the surface, it's a hopeless situation. I can't fix Jane. I've tried, but I'm not enough. All of the signs and role models around her don't offer much hope either. The circumstances seem hopeless, but I've been learning something new. Hope in circumstances is not the same as hope in God**. Our hope doesn't come from what we can see. Our hope comes from above. 

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. (Romans 8:24-25, ESV)

Just two streets down from Jane, there is a gentleman who moved to this part of the city as his family grew. He was so shocked by the lack of any provision for young people in the area that he started taking his piano out onto the street for singalongs with all the neighbours. The whole street comes out to join in and make requests. There are many pockets of tangible, real-life hope that can be seen and reported in these places, and I would like to believe that the hours I have poured into those streets will be counted among the examples in years to come.

It would be easy to hold onto these stories as examples of hope for my city, for our world. But if our hope is founded on what we see, then how do we respond to the stories of sickness, unemployment and abuse that also abound? Where will my strength come from as I walk through the dark valleys?

Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! (Psalm 27:3, 13 ESV)

Let's hope in something that won't disappoint.

*   Not her real name
**  This is a brilliant, grounded article that you should read.