I wrote this aaaaaaaaaaaages ago in Nepal (like, beginning of October) but never got around to typing it up. I think it's still true and relevent though, so- better late than never!
I hope that when I return from Nepal, for the first few weeks people worry about my spiritual state.
My study on church took me to some surprising places. For those who read all the scriptures attached, my reference to Ananias and Saphira may have seemed a little morbid and unnecessary. But actually, it has taught me a lot about the huge importance of honesty within the church. The full story is here.
There were awesome things happening in the church. People were being saved by the day, miracles were happening all over the place and the believers were giving everything they had to support each other, in one big happy family.
But Ananias and Saphira don't seem to have been so convinced. Maybe they were newly saved and hadn't quite seen the full picture yet. Maybe they'd been two of the first and didn't know what to make of the massive growth that was going on. Either way, They had a reputation to keep up so when they sold their field, nobody could know that they'd kept something back.
There are many times when I have been in that position. I've been offered prayer but preferred to listen to others' weaknesses than disclose my own, brushing off their kind offers with a well-practiced smile. I've led people in prayers and Bible study, all the while resenting the hours of my day that it took up.
There's no life in putting on a brave face. There's no cohesion in saying one thing and meaning another. How are we to support one another if we don't even know where the weaknesses lie? Deception leads to death, because there is no one to sow life into us.
Here is a song that spoke to me about halfway through last year. When I first heard it, it broke me, but somehow I never quite translated it into action. Let it challenge you and change you.
So when I return, if I tell you I'm having a bad day or I'm not sure what I believe any more, don't worry- be glad. And please, don't try to be perfect. Set your sights on the things of heaven (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control) then let it all hang out, and lets support each other.