Reminiscence

Today I was reading through my journal of the past year. The idea was to get an overview of what had happened and then use up the final few pages to reflect and bring out the highlights. I wish I could be that structured and disciplined in my writing. But reading through was interesting- there has been a continuity this year from January-December rather than the usual September-September, and that gives me a greater sense of expectation for the year to come.

I heard a guy preach just before Christmas; he had an amazing prophetic gift and spoke some things that I really needed to hear into my life. But before that he was talking about 2008 and 2009. His message was that what was sown in 2008 would be reaped in 2009. That night I sowed forgiveness into friends that have hurt me and repentance for my attitude towards them. But over the year I have also sown- time and money into 24/7 prayer, 'students' group, India, and relationships with housemates, coursemates and other friends. What was sown in 2008 will be reaped in 2009. I can't wait! What have you sown?

I just read a post by David about faith which is such a challenge. He explains that faith isn't really faith until it is your only option! It's so easy for the soul to see a chalenge and immediately start trying to find human ways around it, but faith doesn't even entertain those thoughts. I gotta admit that I have entertained those thoughts- planned through the possibilties and eventualities, and even discussed those with other people- but I need to start speaking a language of faith, sowing faith into my own heart with my own words ('Faith comes by hearing') and then maybe we can move on a bit sooner :)

See, I'm not good at planning. This isn't the reflection I had hoped to write. But, as one year ends and another begins I will leave my past behind and step into the new year. Here's a great poem that sums it up:

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
"Give me a light, that I may tread safely into the unknown!"
And he replied:
"Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way."

So, I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night
And He led me toward the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

So, heart, be still!
What need our little life,
Our human life, to know,
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low
God hideth His intention.

Mary Louise Haskins

Goodbye, 2008!

Home

I got back to Liverpool on Tuesday evening, so pretty much had a day at home before Christmas struck. That's the latest I've been home and I'm not sure that I've really relaxed yet. Christmas was nice, but it occurred to me that we kept busy keep all of these traditions and didn't really stop to think and just be. Which probably would have been more appropriate.

But not to sound like a Scrooge- it was fun, we had what my Dad proclaimed to be 'the best Christmas dinner ever' (roast duck and lamb casserole), everyone loved their presents and Matt bought me the cutest little mp3 player shaped like mickey mouse. It's gorgeous!

I've just watched a program on BBC iplayer that I downloaded a while ago- it was a horizons program I think, called 'what time is it?' just because it looked quite interesting and philosophical about time and origins etc. In it they mentioned a picture, 'the ultra deep field' which is apparently the deepest view into space EVER, looking at galxies that are billions of lightyears away. The picture is here, and it's a new favourite- looking so far into the past, it's mind-blowing! I still haven't fully made up my mind on what I believe about timescales yet, but I don't think that as a Christian I'm limited to the earth being 6000 years old. Either way, it is beautiful.

Scatty and loved

Jesus loves me. He really does. I am SUCH a scatty person- for two weeks now I've been panicking about an assessment from my placement that I lost. It's kind of equivalent, on a micro scale, to that guy that left the CD with everyone's personal details on the tube. Breach of confidentiality and all that. So today I had another go, searching through every page in every file on my bookshelf. Just before I started AGAIN, I had a quick scan through a folder that I've been using every day for the past two weeks whilst essay-writing, and sure enough there it was! No breach of confidentiality, no failed placement, just a bit of poor timekeeping. But nobody's perfect.

In my jubilation I texted numerous coursemates to tell them the wonderful news and got a reply back saying that I am officially the luckiest person in the world! No jokes- I also had a phone call today to tell me that somebody has handed in my lost debit card, driving license and student card to the bank.

Sure I'm scatty. Sure I lose things in silly places and would save a whole lot of time if my head and my life followed some sensible order. But I think that maybe I was just made that way, maybe Jesus loves me not in spite of my scattiness, but he loves that bit just as much as the rest. He certainly seems to look after me, STAP, cards and all :)

Like, wow

So here I am, sat in the library with my laptop, feeling very efficient and important although both probably couldn’t be much further from the truth. Ah well. I’m taking up residence this week while I write this darned essay, although if only the academic psychological words would flow as easily as these rambling ones it would be over in an afternoon!

Soon I have to go and get some 3-month-old paint out of a carpet. I’m not convinced that it’s even possible but to work I will go and we’ll see what happens. Any ideas, anyone? Answers on a postcard :P

Also, on Sunday we prayed for my friend Tim. One of his legs was shorter than the other and it was affecting his walking and sports etc. So we prayed, and it grew! Here, in Leeds, we prayed for a leg and it grew in front of out eyes! Like, wow.

From small beginings...

So. I started this blog yesterday and if I don't write the first post soon, I never will. The first post feels like a bit of an unknown...am I setting the precedent here for everything that is to follow? What is the theme? Where is it going? I guess it's just like the 'finding flapjack' story. Silly things go missing and turn up in silly places. Who knows why I chose to put a tub of flapjack in the bottom of my wardrobe? But there it was and here we are. Today the snow was beautiful. There. Snow. As good a start as any...