The Simple Things

This afternoon I got an email from my housemate telling me about something good that had happened in her day. It was nothing important- just something nice that she wanted to share with me straight away! It's fun to get messages like that. 

It got me thinking about the highlight of my working day today. The best thing, and the reason why I stayed on ten minutes after my shift had finished, was that I made a cup of tea. 

Yes. I made a cup of tea. 

But this wasn't any old cup of tea, this was a nice cup of tea, in a blue cup, with two sugars!

I can see you're still not very impressed. But it was a wonderful moment. It was the moment I connected with a patient for the first time; the first smile; in fact the first food or drink he'd accepted all day. And it was a cup of tea (in a blue cup). And it was nice. And he enjoyed it. 

So I went home. My job there was done. 

Not a Minority Mindset

Wednesday was a busy day. My bike was in the shop getting some working breaks fitted so I had to get up super-early to make the 40 minute walk to work in time to arrive by 7. It was a busy shift with such adventures as the boiler breaking and having to wash the old-fashioned way by pouring kettles of water into the bath. Fun times! It was also kidz klub visiting day- the first time back after half term so I was looking forward to getting out and seeing all the kids again, though not excited at the prospect of the rain and drizzle that has been falling from the sky all week! A series of events meant that I had to make it into town and out again within an hour of finishing work to pick up our visiting pack with all the colouring sheets we take out to the kids, so I jumped onto the bus after work.

Sitting there, catching my breath and minding my own business, a couple of people got onto the bus and started having a fairly loud conversation just behind me. I defy anyone to sit on the bus and not listen to the conversations going on around them- the human being is innately nosey (but what's most fun is to try and imagine what the people you can hear behind you will look like, and being surprised by how inaccurate you were when you/they get off). So these people were talking, and one girl was describing her job and what she did- it was some kind of charity. She went on to describe how there could sometimes be conflict between Christian and non-Christian service users and staff, and how that was a shame, and then started talking about her church and an event that was happening soon. Hmm, I thought, another Christian on the bus! So often I assume that I am the only Christian in whatever environment I find myself. That's not a bad thing in itself, but it can feel lonely sometimes.

As I was getting off the bus (and had a quick peek behind me- as always my imagined image of these two was very far from the truth!) I overheard a couple of old ladies talking about the new Christian bookshop that's just opened in Leeds near the bus stop, and whether they'd been in there yet. This bus is full of Christians!! I carried on my way, a little amused by what had happened.

Visiting pack collected, it was cold and wet and the prospect of walking home in order to walk for another two hours was just too much, so I opted for the bus again. I stepped inside the bus stop to shelter from the wind and rain, and the only other lady there was on the phone. "Don't worry," she was saying, "only God knows our future. Just trust in Him." Seriously. Christians everywhere!! It made me smile to myself that everywhere I went, people were relying on and trusting in God. I'm part of a big family, and it's good to remember that.

I'll take any excuse to post a video, and this one's pretty clever, though maybe be careful if you get motion sickness...

Hello again.

Wow. It’s been a while. One thing and another- moving house, lack of internet, spending waaaaaay too much time on the M1- has prevented me from having space to even think about writing the past couple of months. But here I am, writing, and it’s nice to be back.

So what’s happened? I’ve moved house, and now live in a lovely little terrace in the much-sought-after neighbourhood of Harehills (jokes, it’s got a pretty poor reputation but I love it; name any country in the world and I’ll bet you there’s someone from there living within a mile of my house). I’m coming to terms with the fat that my church community and my local community are pretty separate now, but I’m sure you’ll here more about that in months to come. I spent every weekend of September in London completing my work for “the Challenge” which was definitely a challenge for me! LOTS of hours spent on buses and trains and tubes and all sorts, but it was good to see it through to the end. And I enjoyed spending time with London-based friends that so kindly put me up. October has been the month of students and Freshers- we’ve had our student “Re:fresh” barbeques outside of City Church, and have spent Sunday afternoons hosting student lunches for all the shiny new faces that have turned up to meetings. That’s been pretty hectic in its own special way but slowly things are settling into routine and this week has been a quiet one. I needed one of those.

Kidz klub = great, I’m loving having my own visiting round and am being trained up to be a bus captain soon which is a terrifying thought but a welcome challenge!

Work = still going, I’ve just sent off a CRB form to volunteer at a local school and got some work experience with the SLT from the trust I work for so those are developments. Eventually someone will pay for my services but apparently they’d much prefer them for free. Same as anyone I guess. God is faithful all the same.

I’ve got a few things I’ve been thinking about the past few weeks that I’d like to write about so hopefully they will be along soon. I kind of intended to write one of those tonight but this little round-up has been pretty constructive actually so maybe I’ll leave it there. Not too long til next time, promise!

Strike Two!

I have had a second article published... this time on "Dawn Comes," the blog of some friends who are doing a brilliant job writing and publishing articles from all over the world, and I feel very privileged to have been asked to write for them :) They post something every week, usually on a Tuesday. Have a look here.

I have a fun story coming about the acquisition of my new house (woop!). It's been quite an adventure. Hopefully get it written up at the weekend.

M:Powered by Cod for Life

... so said the pens that were once printed for the summer camp- unlucky the print just wasn't clear enough!

So another M:Powered has been and gone. I vaguely remember posting about last year but that seems so long ago now. My overwhelming impression this year was how much my little ones have grown up! Most of them I have known since they started secondary school, and many of them are now starting college. Enough to make an old-timer like me feel, well, old.

But it was a beautiful time. We focussed a lot on going home, and how everything we learned could be transferred into 'real life'. In that sense, only time will tell whether it was a successful week or not! But I believe it was.

I don't really know what else there is to say about M:Powered. I just thought it deserved a post. It was fun. Rachel Munn is my hero.

Cool Dudes

I recently read a great blog article entitled "The Concept of Cool" which I thought I might share with anyone passing by. I liked it, you might too.

The Big Smoke in pictures

Maybe I should reflect on London as well? It is kind of a major city and I did just spend a month there (although admittedly most of that time was spent at City of London Academy- an impressive school but a little repetitive nonetheless).

I have an oyster card. These things are amazing! A £4 journey without a card is reduced to £1.80 with. However they are also very confusing and I get a 'seek assistance' message on pretty much every journey I take because something's wrong, I'm out of money or didn't scan the right thing or I don't even know. Also Tubes are horrible if you actually want to get anywhere. On holiday it's lovely because you probably didn't even realise it just took you an hour to travel between 5 stations on about 3 different lines, but when you actually want to get somewhere it's a nightmare, especially with the whole being in the belly of the earth thing and no phone signal to express your apologies that the only tube closures are on the tiny strip of line that you wanted to use. Frustrated much?

However I did visit the V&A museum. I had several hours to kill whilst waiting for my bus and I'd seen a photo of one of the exhibitions (Architects build small spaces) which looked interesting so I spent a happy 3 hours lost in other people's creativity from over the ages. And it was free! I'm getting old; part of me really wanted to stay and look at all the other museums too, but I didn't get chance.

Other claims to fame- I drove past the houses of parliament, spent a day at BBC (didn't see anyone famous apart from possibly a newsreader that no-one could remember the name of) and spent 3 weeks in Greenwich without ever reaching the observatory! About halfway through the first week I spotted the 02 arena and in my excitement said something about the millennium dome. These kids were born in 1994 and didn't even know what the millennium dome was!I am very familiar with the walk between Victoria coach station and Victoria tube station. This is beginning to sound a bit like a bizarre personal statement so I'd better stop, however I will comment that the grass is DEFINITELY greener in Leeds! None of that Southern drought stuff up here I can assure you!

My team was great. The other residential mentors: Bri, Eva, Tabitha and Bobby were brilliant and we all got on so well. That was commented on every week and was a real strength because it's a tough week if you're on your own. Tallulah was the 'logistics officer' for the Team challenge so she did all the organising (and is still going now for another 2 1/2 weeks) and is amazing at what she does- she held us all together and solved all our problems and was generally super. I don't know that any of them will ever read this but I reckon they deserve a special mention anyway :)

And finally... I don't have a photo but I spent the weekend with Maj and Seb in their beautiful new flat in Colindale. We didn't do much; just talked speech therapy and had crazy ideas for making resources (yes, we are planning whole weekends of colouring in!) and discussed being Muslim and ate good food. I miss those guys; gutted that they live so far away but happy that I discovered £4 coach tickets so I can visit them lots!

Sorry this hasn't been very entertaining reading. I expected better of myself after such a long break. Maybe next time.

The Challenge

So, "The Challenge" part one is complete. What a whirlwind it was, but what an adventure, a huge learning curve and a fantastic opportunity. (Have a look here if you missed the last description- I worked on the Team Challenge 4 times).

It was interesting repeating the same program 4 times with 4 different staff groups and 4 different teams of young people. So often on residential trips, the people and individual events are what make a program what it is, but in this case the program became detached from the people. It means that we as residential mentors were able to learn from the mistakes of others and pass them on to subsequent leaders, and equally learn that there are many ways of approaching the same problem.

Each week I worked with a team of young people and a Senior Mentor (who had spent the previous week doing outdoor pursuits with the team) on the Enterprise program. I saw a lot of different leadership styles, from very hands-on to very detached, and I saw the benefits of each. I hope that I began to learn where guidance is needed and where it can be withheld. I saw problem-solving techniques and ways to address motivation within a team, and learned the value of admitting and apologising for mistakes. I learned new behaviour management skills. I broke up my first fights. I enforced discipline rules. I learned that you don't have to be "cool" to relate to the cool kids. You just have to care.

I also found fellowship in surprising places. I haven't "been to church" in two months as a result of various work commitments but I have found that the church is all around me. A number of the staff that I worked with across the different waves were Christians (and a number of them would shudder to hear that word describing them but that's a story for another time), which was odd because I've never really encountered Christians outside of a Christian setting before. My first senior mentor fed me worship music on the minibus on the way to our workshops, and had me singing Matt Redman songs whilst the team were planning debates in an activity one day. One of the teens in another group said grace and prayed for the entire team when we had a meal out in a restaurant on their last night. I shared a room one week and we stayed up late talking about our experience of church and finding what we really believe for ourselves. My challenge is to become as comfortable talking about God in these situations as we are talking about church. But that will come.

I don't really know what else to say! There's so much inside of me and so many thoughts and experiences but I can't quite get them into words. I guess I was a little bit surprised that I succeeded. I live under no false pretences- I know I'm not cool and not particularly streetwise and my life experiences are a million miles from any of those kids, from private or state schools. But I can be there for them and care for them. I can also learn to do those things that I find difficult: be the loud, bouncy, motivating person; enforce discipline where it is needed; direct big groups of people. I can make friends quickly and learn 50 names every week for a month. Sure, there's lots of things to improve on and I have huge lists of that too but I aint too bad at all!

To-Do Lists

I have so much to do I don't even know where to start, so I'm bypassing it all and writing a blog instead. This will be more of a diary post than an insight post but hey, that is where it all began.

I'm suddenly committed to loads of things. I'm enjoying it; it's fun; but I'm beginning to feel the responsibility that I don't want to let anyone down and I'm a little bit scared that I might.

Next Sunday (that's right, ten days away) I will be travelling down to London to work for an organisation called 'The Challenge'. They take 16-yr-olds who have just done their GCSEs and set them challenges they will achieve to teach them life skills, give them confidence in themselves and get them involved in their local communities. I'm going as a Residential Mentor. On week 2 of the 3-week program they stay in a halls of residence and do workshops each day (I've been assigned to enterprise!?!?!) so I will basically do that week with a group, then come back the next week and do it with another group, 4 times over. So basically by the end I'll be great at enterprise, shattered, and as one of my colleagues said, tough as nails. Maybe. This is a rubbish explanation but have a look at the website (above) for more flashy info. But that's okay. I've sent of all my child protection stuff so now all I really have to do is go down there and do what I'm told really.

In August is M:Powered. Despite the fact I will have just done something similar four times over, I'm really excited about it this year. I'm hopefully going to be leading a small group, I'm helping write some of the bible study notes and I really want to be able to sow into the delegates that are coming this summer. Gary and I are looking at journalling in preparation and this blog might be subject to some experimentation over the next month or so, but obviously a large amount of that time will be spent in London, and I don't want to lose momentum while I'm away. Who knows, maybe I'll gain some :)

Also, I'm the 'student worker' for City Church Leeds at the moment. Currently it's just a title as there aren't really any students with which to work but come September we need to really get the ball rolling. I spoke to a girl from Fusion today who was very encouraging, but lots needs thinking about and doing and setting in place before September, and I am going to be in London for all of July (and weekends in Sept, oops) and then at M-Powered for a week of August. So time is getting squeezed.

Also, I need to live. By live I mean earn enough money to eat, travel, put a roof over my head and fund some of the other crazy things I am involved in. I qualified as a Speech and Language Therapist almost a year ago now and I'm supposed to be starting a career sometime soon. I'd like to have a home where I could unpack and use my pressure cooker and hang up my calendar and have a craft box- that's been about a year too.

I think I need a PA. Someone whose mind works in straight lines and who can plan time and motivate me and stop me procrastinating. You will be paid in endless gratitude and perhaps some tasty treats of your preference. Any applicants?

Debut

The Orchard

A new issue of "The Orchard" came out on Wednesday. This is a webzine that has been set up by some friends of mine to bring together valuable Christian resources from across the internet. They are great at finding inspiring videos and podcasts, as well as posting thought-provoking quotes and bible verses. If you subscribe to blog feeds (e.g. Google Reader) you should definitely add this! http://the-orchard.info/feed/

This month I was asked to write the feature article which was a huge privilege and a little but daunting as it's the first time I've written something purposely for other people to read, people who don't know me and aren't necessarily on my side from the beginning. But it was a good experience, hopefully it stretched my writing a little further :)

So have a look, but check out the whole site, because it's great!

Hallelujah!

I don't know if words can describe this. The experience is made so much better by being able to see the sheer amount of glitter on the stage :P

Look what I found!

I went 'prayer-walking' again today in the blazing sunshine. I'm not sure it really counts to be honest, more like just walking around, learning the neighbourhood, taking in the sights, sounds and smells as I go, and forgetting from time to time that I'm still in England. It's fun.

Today I planned a route before I went out, to try and discover some new areas, and discover new areas I did! My most exciting discovery was down a little back road that I'd chosen to go along to stay off the main road for a little bit longer, which had a huge mural all along it.

"Pockets of Hope" is the correct poetic term, I believe.

'cos every day it feels like it's only a game

Wherever the sole of your foot shall tread...

Yesterday I went for a prayer walk around an area of Leeds called Harehills. Lots of people I've spoken to recently seem to be prayer-walking the area and it's a place I need to invest some time into. Since my Kidz Klub round had been moved forwards a day I thought I'd make use of the extra time by going to investigate.

I don't really know how to prayer walk, especially not on my own. It's easy to get distracted by things that you see, or to let your thoughts run away down different routes. But I walked, and kept my eyes open to see what was going on. I zigzagged up and down terraced streets; I sought out the huge Mosque and the new library and supermarket that are being built in the centre of the community. I looked, I listened, and I asked God that he would touch these streets. When I got distracted I took comfort in the fact that just by my very being there, by the soles of my feet touching those pavements, I was bringing the Spirit and rule of God to that area.

And I guess I'll try again. History is littered with people who didn't really know what they were doing but decided to give it a go anyway and learn as they went. That's how prayer movements and revivals start. So I will learn those streets and hear their stories. I'll walk and pray, or worship, or just wonder what's coming next, but Harehills will find itself quietly invaded with love.

Image © Copyright Betty Longbottom and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence.

I walked here

An Honest Blog Award

I have just received an 'honest blog' award from Kathi Kelly at Three little arrows. Kathi is a great friend of mine at City Church Leeds, she has been an inspiration and a strength to me throughout my time in Leeds! According to the rules I have to write ten honest facts about myself and then pass the scrap onto ten others.

I don't usually do these things, but since I've been low on inspiration recently it's a good way to get writing again. Here goes:

1) I'm not very good at baring my soul. When people do those ice-breakers where you have to say something people don't know about you, I've caught myself on more than one occasion trying to think of what I can say that is the least personal- not really the point! I'm getting better at it though, as I hope this exercise will prove.

2) Songs are very emotive to me, and are the way to my heart. "Mr Brightside" evokes genuine fear inside me, and I can't really explain why that is. Songs also bring back memories of periods of my life, and sometimes I find myself surprised by how much I've moved on since a period when listening to a particular song that was prevalent at that time.

3) I would love to learn a language. I am currently trying to learn German but without much success- self-motivation was never my strong point. Maybe I'll take classes in September. I can, however, buy fabric and order a hand-stitched dress in Nepali.

4) I have many international friends, and no longer take it for granted that a person's first language is English. We live in a multi-cultural country.

5) I believe in Jesus and follow the teachings of the Bible, although at times I have shied away from the term 'Christian' because of some of the connotations it holds for many people. I think maybe that's just my attempt at being cool though. I'd love to be a cool alternative Christian but I find myself disappointingly mainstream. I've even been to a Jesusculture-related event.

6) I spent 4 months in Nepal last year volunteering as a speech and language therapist. It was awesome.

7) I have been paid to watch Justin Timberlake, Take That, James Morrison and Simply Red (oh yes!) in concert, among others. Stewarding is an awful job, but it gave me some amazing experiences and I met such a range of people you wouldn't imagine. It was a fun period of my life.

8) Sudoku is my answer to Buddhist meditation. It is such a good way to clear my mind when I'm stressed and upset- it takes all of my concentration and by the time it's finished I'm all chilled out again! Give it a go :)

9) I missed out on the last general election by 3 weeks. This year I'm definitely going to vote!!

10) My head doesn't think in straight lines, and that is usually reflected in the state of my bedroom- chaos! Any other room I can keep tidy. Deep down I'm an organised person- I love the thought of labelled folders for all my papers and a place for everything, but I just don't work that way and I've stopped condemning myself for it. I get things done on time when it matters- that's enough!

That was unbelievably difficult! The next part is to pass on the award to 10 other people but I'm not that prolific of a blog-reader and two blogs that I do read have already received the award! So I'll just have a short list, but check them out because there's some good stuff out there:

• Introspection Dance
• [sketches of a dream]
• Tim and Chloe

And those who have already written their honest scraps:

• Three Little Arrows
• Home Grown Babies

Thank you for reading. *takes a bow*

Simples

Having had a week off work, today I finally took some time out to spend with God and ask Him what He wants me to do with my life. He told me to love Him. Simples.

It's ok!

I just felt that I should reassure anyone who might be a little worried by my latest posts- I'm okay. The world may be rocking and shaking around me but I'm not about to give up or run away! I don't have a clue what the future holds, but I'm chasing after the One who does. Or rather, He's chasing after me. God has my number, you know that? He chases me around telling me about myself.

Paul talks about all the great things he used to do and have:

⁷ I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. ⁸ Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ ⁹ and become one with him.

(Philippians 3:7-9)

On Tuesday I went to an event put on by some Bethel students which was really good fun- the Holy Spirit is awesome and I feel as though I've finally joined the 'Bethel Bandwagon' which I've been a little cynical about for some time. Mid-way through the worship this verse just came back to me (and I couldn't find it for AAAAAAGES...) and this is it. Everything that I am, everything that I have is nothing compared with who God is, compared with knowing Him and following His ways. I have been spoiled- no other way of life quite lives up to what I've seen in God!

It's okay.

PS Spotify this:

Passion – Passion: Awakening

The end

Today I reach the end. My world never stretched beyond this. My plans never really considered a moment past this day. Tomorrow I reach the end, and all I know is that I’m working a night shift on Sunday. In a way it’s exciting, but at the same time it’s the most daunting step I ever took. Moving to Loughborough and starting uni were nothing in comparison to this.

I’ve been pretending to be a grown-up all week. I’ve called people to arrange accommodation and storage of my excess stuff (back to living out of a bag…); I’ve cleaned ovens and packed up pans; I’ve worked night shifts to compensate for the fewer hours I’ll be able to work this week. I’ve written newsletters and emailed trusts with the aim of furthering my career. But all the time I still feel like a little girl. Do we ever grow up? Or do we just keep playing more and more complex roles?

I was reflecting on this last night as I struggled to stay awake in those early hours. The toughest thing is that two of my best friends are moving away on the same day, and I’m really not sure what I’ll do without them. Andy and Scot have been rocks to me over the past three years… And at that point I heard a little voice say, “I AM your Rock. I always have been. I always will be.”

Every ending is just a new beginning, right? Tonight we were at the City Church “Family Conference” and there are more changes afoot, more ‘rocks’ are shaking. Not in a bad way; I think we’re just being shaken off the little stones that we thought were so solid and landing on the Rock that will never change. I’m not the only one who’s reached the edge. I’m not the only one who feels like everyone is leaving all at once. I am loved on this earth as well as from above.

One of my favourite ever songs is ‘Eternal God’ by the one and only Dave Hadden. It’s Old School- like, really- but it’s awesome. It reminds me of being a little girl, when everything was simple (Was it? Really?):

Though the earth should tremble and the oceans roar
And the mountains slip into the sea;
I shall not fear any harm, with your powerful arms around me.

I worship You, Eternal God
I worship You, the Unchanging One
Before the angels ever sang one song
Before the morning star had ever shone
You were on Your throne,
Eternal God

Though men’s kingdoms crumble and the nations rage
And rulers and kings come and go;
Yours is the Kingdom unshaken, and You’ve never forsaken Your own!

I worship You, Eternal God
I worship You, the Unchanging One
Before the angels ever sang one song
Before the morning star had ever shone
You were on Your throne,
Eternal God

So tomorrow, as I step off the edge of my life as I knew it, I am trusting in the everlasting arms that will catch me before I hit the ground. I’ve seen very little of any Indiana Jones film ever, but I’m just reminded of the ‘step of faith’ in one of them (dunno which one?) – that’s what I need!



To old endings, and new beginnings. Cheers.

God Knows My Name!

I love the dance, and believe the lyrics. Enjoy!

Horton Hears a Who

I remembered! Just watched the greatest film of all time with Andy & Scot (whilst enjoying some amazing apple crumble...though I say so myself...) and remembered what it was I was going to write. Here's where I began in December:

The story tells of an elephant called Horton, who finds a speck on which a whole world of tiny creatures live. The speck is floating through the air, at risk of annihilation, so Horton sets off on a mission to take the speck to a cave in the top of a mountain where he believes it will be safe.

Horton is the clown of the jungle. The kids love him, and while most of the mums are happy to leave their children’s education in his hands, no one really takes him seriously. That is, except for the Kangaroo who has appointed herself in charge of the jungle, and ‘pouch-schools’ her roo because Horton encourages the children to use their imaginations. When Horton sets off on his mission, she responds completely disproportionately and tries to destroy Horton as well as the speck, eventually rallying all of the other animals in the jungle to join her. Why not just let him get on with it and all will be forgotten?

Eventually, the Whos of Who-ville manage to make enough noise that the smaller ears of the other jungle animals can hear them and the speck is saved, Horton extends the olive branch to a disgraced Kangaroo and the two take the speck up to the cave together.

I defy anyone to watch this movie and not see any spiritual parallels at all. Classic lines from Kangaroo like, “If you can’t see it, hear it or touch it, it doesn’t exist!” ring true of many people’s attitudes today. The concept of a massive being in the sky beyond the comprehension and wildest imaginings of a tiny Who who’s only ever known his world, seems strangely familiar.

But what struck me when I was watching that time, and again today, was the resolution that Horton held. Nobody takes him seriously, and he doesn't even really take himself seriously. Life is just a game to him, until he realises what a responsibility he is holding in his trunk. He has the speck. The lives of an entire world depend upon him. He finds a resolution to stand up to the kangaroo that everyone is afraid of. He will risk his life on a broken-down suspension bridge. He will chase down a vicious carnivorous bird with a nasty reputation. He will search through millions of clovers to find the one that holds the world he has vowed to protect.

Often, I don't take myself seriously. I have nice thoughts and grand dreams, but that is all they are- thoughts and dreams. I feel emotional about things sometimes and I want to make a difference, but in the harsh daylight I find myself aligning with the status quo, and promising myself that tomorrow, next week, when I have a job, a house, things will be different. It's time to start making decisions now. It's never going to be easy; never going to be the "right time"; but it's always going to be right. If a daft elephant can save some tiny creatures on a speck, how much more can I take a stand to save the people on my planet.

PS- Just came across this whilst looking for images. More food for thought if you were looking.

Hope and a Future

At Christmas I started writing an awesome post about what I had learned from watching 'Horton Hears a Who' one night before going to bed. I never quite finished it and just went to post it now, only to find that I'd stopped just before I said what I'd actually learned. And now I can't remember. Typical.

So... updates. I'm living in Leeds, back in 'the Eden Project' for now, until 25th February when our contract, and this magnificent era, comes to an end. Where will I stay on 26th February? I have no idea. Like, none. I have a couple of offers in Leeds, and a dream that it might be Newcastle, but in fact I just don't know. It adds to the fun.

At the minute I'm working for NHS Leeds Foundation Trust, as an assistant in Specialised Supported Living houses for adults with learning disabilities. It's the same work that I've have for the past couple of years, only this time round I really love it. Sure it's hard, but it's rewarding and I love the tenants and the staff, I love being a part of their little world for a few hours at a time. I have a job interview on Thursday 11th for an SLT job working with learning disabilities and autism in Newcastle, but if I don't get that I'm not going to rush into getting a job in a field I'm not interested in just for the sake of it- I'll work and volunteer here until the one for me turns up. The more I think about it, the outcome of this interview is a win-win situation, and I'm happy that way :)

I'm slowly building back the life that I almost destroyed last year. I think it's fair to say I was pretty depressed, and let a lot of important friendships go to waste in my stress and despair. Now I'm trying to rebuild the bridges I may have burned, to create a new life for myself in Leeds if that is what is to happen, and to leave on positive terms if that is the way forward. It's interesting, but at last I feel hopeful of the future, whatever it will bring. The Eden era is coming to an end- couple number 2 will be married by the end of this year- but an ending is only the beginning of something new, and I can't wait to see what that will be.

"Team India" gets ready to face the Big Freeze 2010